Dear classmates,
I'm not shy, I just don't want to talk to any of you.
Sincerely, "the quiet kid."

Dear girls,
You blow me, try to control me, and get mad if I have one day that's not perfect... I don't remember signing up to be your boyfriend.
Sincerely, your hair.

more Dear milk ads,
Milk doesn't actually make those sweet mustaches, no matter how long you try.
Sincerely, deceived.


Dear girls,
You complain when a guy is too dumb, you complain when they are nerds. You say you want a bad boy, then you complain when they treat you poorly. You say you want a nice guy, yet you leave them in the freind zone. We can't win.
Sincerely, men.


Dear skinny people,
At least if I get stabbed I'm more likely to survive.
Sincerely, obesity does have it's benefits.

Dear automatic light sensors,
Thank you for making me feel like a wizard every time I walk into a room and say "lumos."
Sincerely, I swear the owl lost my letter.

Dear mom,
I'm wearing skinny jeans.
Sincerely, If I can't get them off, neither can the rapist